Hard Goodbyes

Goodbyes are some of the hardest things to do and yet we will all have to do them at some point in our lives. Losing a loved one, moving away.....thank goodness mine is just the latter, but its still hard. This is the longest Bryce and I have lived anywhere and I will miss my Syracuse family more than they know.
We have made some great friends through the years, that have been true examples of righteousness, service and love. They really are a Christ like bunch of people and we will forever cherish the time that we got to know and spend with them.
Although it is hard leaving those people, it wasn't until I sat in the Primary room my last 2 Sundays that I found myself really fighting back the tears. I think I have spent 6 out of the 7 years we have lived here in that Primary room, getting to love and be with those kids. That has truly been where I have felt at home and have been loved by so many children. I had one of the boys from my class bring me cookies this past Sunday, he said that, "he was really going to miss me, he loved having me as his teacher."  I bent down and gave this sweet boy a hug and told him "he was awesome and that I loved having him in class and that he would love his next teacher". I watched him run down the stairs and hop in his car, now crying, he yelled up to his mom in the front seat, "I almost starting crying in front of her." Little did he know I felt the same way.
Audrey has had such a great experience in nursery. I asked her who her best friend in church was and she said "teacher Kelly", which is really teacher Shane. They are the Willard couple and she loves them both along with teacher Cheyla. She is going to miss them so much and I can only hope that the next ones will live up to a quarter of the fun and love they have shown her.
For me, it is also hard and not hard to leave my home. We have gone threw so much together as a married couple. This is where we have spent most of our married lives. This is where I had a lot of firsts, my first garden, my first child. The garden I can have another shot at, the child, I get to continue to nourish and love and best of all, she gets to come with me. Along with all of the great memories we have made in our home. That's the nice thing about houses, they are just a house until you make it a home, and that's exactly what we plan on doing with this next one, just starting new memories with the same people.
Its amazing how you start to pull just a few things off of walls in the house you've made a home.....and it instantly doesn't feel like a home anymore. I'm ready to be gone. This Friday, October 25th will be our last day. It's definitely bitter sweet!
Change is hard, but I think it is important. We get too comfortable and complacent with our lives. Change is what makes us grow, if we allow it too. We are so excited for this next step in our lives. We have no doubt that it is what we are supposed to do, the Lord has made it clear to us. We trust Him and are willing to sacrifice a little to do so.
FYI, moving sucks!!!

Special moments

The other day, Audrey and I were outside playing. She then had a moment when she stopped swimming, came to me and wanted me to hold her, (probably because she was cold). She actually cuddled in my arms for what felt like 30 minutes, but in reality was only maybe 3 minutes...for her, that is a feat!! I sat there and rocked her like the little baby she once was. I then asked her, "do you want mommy to give you a little baby brother or sister?" She looked at me and sat up and said, "yeah, go get it momma!" I wish it were only that easy baby girl, I wish it were that easy.

Audrey's 2nd Birthday

Oh my heck, will I ever stop saying, "I can't believe she's this old already?" But I really can't!! The past 2 years with this little girl named Audrey have been such a blessing. She is such an animated child and she keeps us laughing. I'm truly so grateful that the Lord sent her to me. I could not have received a better little Angel. Bryce and I love her so much and the little spirit that she is.
A couple of funny things Audrey has said the last little while.......
Bryce and I were out gardening and she came out with our watering can in her mouth, she blew in it and said, "it's a tuba".
I was doing her hair and said, "do you want mommy to put your hair in a pony tail?" She then looked at mine, which had one as well, and said, "mommy has a horsey tail".
Anytime I put a skirt or dress on her, she now has to say "it's a princess dress".
We celebrated her birthday with her favorite people, her cousins, aunts, uncles and of course grandmas and grandpas. She was so excited all day for her party. I loved the fact that this year, she sort of got it, but the best part, was that it wasn't about the presents. (yet) In fact, after opening almost every present, she would go and hand it to one of her cousins.
I love this little girl more than words can express. Thank you for teaching me patience, how to love, understanding for what is important in this life. I love you Audrey.
Here are some pics of her birthday bash!
All day long I kept asking her "if she was excited for her birthday party?" Her response was ,"hat". She wanted a birthday hat for her party, so I let her choose between a couple and this is what she picked.

She had a Hello Kitty hair bow cake

Her new Hello Kitty purse

New guitar

Golf club set

Audrey's new trike

This one is my fave of the night! I love the excitement while they sing happy birthday to her

 This one was totally like, "mom, your embarrassing me in front of my friends"

look at that form, she's a natural

 her new water table

12 years

Bryce and I celebrated our 12 year anniversary on April 4th and yes, I do think it was our best one yet! We started the day off with a round of golf.

We decided to do things a little differently this year. We went to the SLC temple where we were married and did a session. I think we both loved doing something that we did 12 years ago and the fact that this is what we are really here for.

 We then headed over to Texas de Brasil to eat and then had to get a waffle dessert at Bruges, before heading home.

It was a fabulous day and I wouldn't have changed a thing! I truly am so blessed to love Bryce more and more every year. He is my best friend and amazes me year after year by the better man that he becomes. Thanks for the past 12 wonderful years!

easter 2013

Here are some pictures of Audrey at Great grandma Nelson's Easter egg hunt.

 For some reason she took to collecting rocks with her candy???

 My cousins sweet boy

 Yep, she's all boy in that cute little girl body

Easter Sunday was great. I always like to have a day dedicated to really think about our Savior and His Resurrection. I'm so grateful for my older brother and all he has done for me.

Here are a few pictures of Audrey on Easter Sunday at the Stevensons

 By the time we got to Aunt Jens house, she was really into the whole Easter egg hunt thing

yee-haw cowboy!

A couple of weeks ago I was feeding Audrey some spaghetti and she put the noodle above her head like it were a rope, swinging her arm in a circle while saying "yee haw cowboy".
She also likes to sit on her dog Abbie girl and say the same thing while grabbing her ears and pulling on them as if they were her reins. I'm just glad we have one patient dog for that wild cowgirl of mine!

Audrey's words and actions

I think it's important to write down all the dang cute things that your little monkey does, because she won't do it forever. Some things your so grateful they won't do forever, like the fit throwing, toy throwing. Her mean scowl., the dis-obedient defiant child that is surfacing on random occasions . Oh did I not mention that she is now 21 months and on her way to a terrible two year old? Well she is, but along with all that, comes those tender moments of watching her learn and grow. I love listening to the things she says as she sees them. Half the time, I'm like no, that's not a.......and then as soon as I go to say it, I see what she is looking at! She truly sees the simple most obvious, sometimes hidden things all the time that I miss. I thank her for slowing me down to "smell the roses" so to speak.
She sees circle shapes everywhere she looks. She will say it while drawing a circle motion with her arm and finger.
She just recently learned the correct way to say popcorn and pumpkin. They both had m's in front of them. Mopcorn and munkin.....gosh, I sure miss that already!
I love that she tells me every time she has a boogie, "momma, boogie".
When it snows, she pronounces it backwards. She calls it nose.
I don't know where she learned to mispronounce ball and brush, but they both come out as bee-ball and bee-brush. That one is pretty cute!
She will come up to you and put out her hand reaching for yours, and say "finger". That means, stop doing whatever it is your doing, and come follow me.
Whenever we are on the changing table or in the car, she will just randomly throw out the names of everyone in the family she can say, then following it up with all of the Mickey Mouse characters. In those same two places, she will always sing out an "E-I-E-I-O". (cause that's the only part she knows)
She loves her daddy more than anything! She is such a daddy's girl. I know it's because he never says the word "no", never raises his voice and he always gets up every time she says finger. I would be lying if I said that it doesn't hurt that she would rather go to him every time she gets hurt etc...But who can blame her, he absolutely adores (spoils) her, I would follow him around all day too if I got that kind of attention:)
She has to walk around with things in her hands, if not, it's almost like she's naked. Usually the things that she carries around end up in very random places. She loves to hide things everywhere, between couch cushions, in cabinets etc.... She kinda reminds me of a dog that has to go bury her treasures so that no one else will find them. She is definitely keeping me on my toes as she is discovering new drawers with things to pull out and play with.
Every time she is done with her drink she will hand it to me and so "thank you momma". That means, I'm done with it servant, please take it. She will also do it when she is done wearing her headband, "thank you momma". Really, she does it with just about everything that she brings to you, she doesn't quite get how to use the word "thank you", but, at least she says it.
Every time we say prayers, she has to turn around with her belly on mine and puts her head on my shoulder while I say the prayer. Sometimes I will stretch out the prayer for as long as "Audrey" possible, so that she will cuddle me like that. If you know Audrey, you know that is a feat to get her to sit still for 2 seconds and too cuddle. I cherish prayer time. She always finishes with saying "Amen" and looking up at me as to make sure it's time to say it. A couple of weeks ago as I was praying, I said, "we are thankful for daddy and mommy and Audrey", she then quickly added saying, "and Abbie". I don't know what is more amazing, the fact that I left out our furry family member Abbie or that fact that she was paying attention!
These are just some of things that Audrey does that make my day. I love my Audrey so much!

Faith

Trials make us stronger, that's what they say. If that's the case, I am getting stronger day by day! Since I had Audrey, the thought of "when do I need to start trying for another kid?" has always been in the back of my head.  Deep down I have thought that maybe that's all my body needed was to be shown how to get pregnant and it would be much easier the next time around, not the case. I have once again been off of birth control well, since Audrey was 6 months old. She will be 20 months in a couple of days, you do the math. I have already done artificial 3 times and it just doesn't want to work. Bryce informed me today that we should probably hold off for a few months before we do another procedure so that we can save up some money, which quite honestly, brought me to tears. I thought, isn't it enough that it's near impossible to get pregnant, now we have to stop so that we can save up some money? He is right though, it is costing us between $600-$800 a month out of pocket between the ultrasounds, medications and artificial. It truly breaks my heart to stop trying for the next 3 months, I feel like in a way I'm giving up or have failed a wishful thought or dream.
It hit me a few days ago that I always say, "it will happen when it's supposed to, it's just not the time". I have always applied the "it's not time" to me personally, that I wasn't ready or that it was some trial for me.  My thought the other day was, well maybe it's not even about me, maybe this son or daughter of mine that is waiting to come down isn't supposed to be here yet. They are being saved for a specific time on this earth to do something great and it just isn't now. I find peace in that thought. I truly do have faith in Him and in His plan, but I have to be honest, sometimes the plan sucks. I just have to roll with it, throw my hands in the air and remember it's not always about me!

Day of Thanks- 2012

It shouldn't take a Holiday titled, "Thanksgiving" to make you sit down at your computer and think and say the things that your thankful for, but sometimes it does. It is always nice to have days like these, to sit and ponder about all the blessing that I do have in my life. I try to do that daily, but for some reason on this day, the thoughts seem to flow more fluently.
A few days ago I got a couple friend requests on Facebook from some people I didn't know, in a language that I didn't really understand, Portuguese. I looked at where they were from and it was where Bryce served his mission. So I accepted them thinking they were trying to find him since he doesn't have a Facebook account.  He then asked me for Bryce's email. Bryce received an email from him yesterday. He had been looking for Bryce for a long time. This kid and his brother, (both of which Bryce got baptized), had served missions themselves, were writing Bryce to tell him thank you. He said that because of what he had done, generations would be affected. I just instantly thought of what an amazing husband I have! I'm so grateful for the selfless service he did for 2 years of his life and for the lives that he changed and for the man that he became in the process. I'm so grateful to have Bryce as a best friend/partner/husband for eternity.
On another note, yesterday I was a little disappointed as I took ANOTHER pregnancy test that came back a big fat neg-a-tory. I was reminded of a couple years ago when I had done the same thing. I had taken the test and waited the long awaited 2 min and got a plus sign. I thought, hmmm, maybe I did it wrong. I read the box and low and behold, yup, your only supposed to put it in the urine stream for 5 seconds. Any longer, and you could get a miss reading. So I did it again. Plus sign. Read the instructions again. I'm sure I did something wrong. I did. So I took it, yes a third time. Plus sign!!! I can remember walking into Bryce's office with all 3 sticks that had plus signs, crying and saying, we finally did it. My point to this story, is although we are having another hard time getting pregnant. I have a pretty great blessing named Audrey. I'm so thankful to a gracious Father in Heaven that blessed me with that spunky, beautiful, smart, funny, brave, tender heart of a child. I'm one lucky momma!
This year we spent Thanksgiving with the Stevenson's. The girls all got together to have a pie crust cooking lesson from Debbie. It was fun, educating and they turned out delicious as was the rest of our beautiful dinner. I have so much to be thankful for, family, health, gospel, jobs, and love just to name a few.
Happy Thanksgiving

2012- family pics

Here are some of my favorite pictures that we just had taken........