Ecstatic-Unprepared-Surreal-Happy as a Lark-Body Stretching-Can't Wait-Joy-Anxious-Thrilled-

Are just of few of the adjectives that can explain how I'm feeling right now. I know it's been killing some of my family members that know and so, for those of you that don't, Bryce and I are having a baby. In fact, we are having a baby girl! She is due between April 23-27th we'll say. Because as many of you mothers out there know, those Dr.'s just can't seem to stick to a date.
So yes, you did the math by now, I'm 26 weeks along, just a couple weeks shy of entering into my 3rd trimester. How did I keep it a secret that long???? I have no idea. Quite frankly, I can't believe it myself!
I was going to wait until the baby had been delivered and just post a picture for all you readers out there, but since this is a journal for me, I thought I better get some of these memories down on paper.
As you all know, it hasn't been easy, but we both knew it would happen. It just had to be on His time, or maybe it was on baby girls time, could she be that stubborn, especially in Heaven? (that could be scary!!!)
After a few years of trying with Dr.'s and getting the run around, we finally came across Dr. Johnson whom we've been with for just under a couple years now. What a Saint. He has been the most caring Dr. and obviously helpful because, well, here we are. It has been a long road with him though. Lots of monthly blood work and shots, lots of pills trying to get hormones leveled out, taking a LOT of fertility doses, having another surgery and we finally got to the point that he thought we could actually do artificial insemination. Wouldn't ya know it, it took on the second try.
So far it has been a great pregnancy for me. Other than the Dr. telling me I'm pregnant, which I still have a hard time believing, I don't feel all that pregnant. At the beginning of my pregnancy, I kept telling Bryce, that I just don't think I'm pregnant anymore, it's just not normal to feel so normal. Every 4th appt. when I go back in for an ultrasound there is a sense of relief that comes with hearing her heart again. At about 18 weeks I started to feel those flutters in the belly, you know the ones that could be mistaken for gas. I haven't thrown up once. People say," that's so not fair", and I say, "oh gees, you don't think after all I've been through, it's not fair to give me that?" I have had heart burn since day one and the back aches came not too far behind that. I have the heart burn under control for the moment it's the back that makes me nervous. It just seems to get worse and worse.
Christmas came a little early for Bryce, on the 23rd, he got to feel the baby move for the first time.
We had our big ultrasound appt. last week and she's measuring in at about 1 pound 10 ounces. Everything seems to be healthy as far as they can see.
It's such an amazing feeling to have something inside of you. I think that only mothers can relate to the instant feeling of protection and worry that comes the second you find out your expecting. Suddenly your conscious of everything you put into your mouth, well maybe some of you were conscious of that before hand, not me. Every time I take a bath I'm worried about the water temperature, how I sleep, etc. etc. etc. It's a scary thought to have someone else's life in your hands. I can explain it to Bryce all I want and he says he understands, but I don't think that he will ever truly get it. What a privilege it is to be a woman. I'm so grateful for this gift that my Father in Heaven has entrusted me with and can't wait for her to get here. We are so excited to be parents, the funny thing is, it really doesn't matter how long you can want and wait to be a parent, the thought of her coming into this world still scares the crap out of me!