losing mommy points

This morning as I went to bed at 1:30 am and my little Audrey decided to wake up at 5:30 am and again at 6:00, I was quickly reminded of how much this little girl is dependent on me. I of course went into her nursery to stick the binky into her mouth and I did check, in my behalf to see if she had leaked out of her diaper and onto her sheets, but that was the extent of it. I went into get her this morning changed her diaper like I do every morning, she had pooped sometime during the night and as soon as I laid her down and went to pick up her legs to wipe, the screaming started. Her little bum was so red and sore. I think you can only feel that way as a mother, complete failure! The fact that I could have prevented the pain that my little girl is in every time I touch her/ bathe her/ wipe her. I feel terrible and I have definitely slipped down her top 10 list. I however am hoping to bounce back by refraining from posting pictures of her very cute little but red bum at this time, knowing that it would only cause her humiliation in the cyber world that she would find hard to live down as she gets older and is reading this here diary. I love you baby girl, even mommies aren't perfect and if it makes you feel better on this particular day, I'm sure I'm bound to do worse things to you accidentally in the future. All my love, mommy.