Faith

Trials make us stronger, that's what they say. If that's the case, I am getting stronger day by day! Since I had Audrey, the thought of "when do I need to start trying for another kid?" has always been in the back of my head.  Deep down I have thought that maybe that's all my body needed was to be shown how to get pregnant and it would be much easier the next time around, not the case. I have once again been off of birth control well, since Audrey was 6 months old. She will be 20 months in a couple of days, you do the math. I have already done artificial 3 times and it just doesn't want to work. Bryce informed me today that we should probably hold off for a few months before we do another procedure so that we can save up some money, which quite honestly, brought me to tears. I thought, isn't it enough that it's near impossible to get pregnant, now we have to stop so that we can save up some money? He is right though, it is costing us between $600-$800 a month out of pocket between the ultrasounds, medications and artificial. It truly breaks my heart to stop trying for the next 3 months, I feel like in a way I'm giving up or have failed a wishful thought or dream.
It hit me a few days ago that I always say, "it will happen when it's supposed to, it's just not the time". I have always applied the "it's not time" to me personally, that I wasn't ready or that it was some trial for me.  My thought the other day was, well maybe it's not even about me, maybe this son or daughter of mine that is waiting to come down isn't supposed to be here yet. They are being saved for a specific time on this earth to do something great and it just isn't now. I find peace in that thought. I truly do have faith in Him and in His plan, but I have to be honest, sometimes the plan sucks. I just have to roll with it, throw my hands in the air and remember it's not always about me!

Day of Thanks- 2012

It shouldn't take a Holiday titled, "Thanksgiving" to make you sit down at your computer and think and say the things that your thankful for, but sometimes it does. It is always nice to have days like these, to sit and ponder about all the blessing that I do have in my life. I try to do that daily, but for some reason on this day, the thoughts seem to flow more fluently.
A few days ago I got a couple friend requests on Facebook from some people I didn't know, in a language that I didn't really understand, Portuguese. I looked at where they were from and it was where Bryce served his mission. So I accepted them thinking they were trying to find him since he doesn't have a Facebook account.  He then asked me for Bryce's email. Bryce received an email from him yesterday. He had been looking for Bryce for a long time. This kid and his brother, (both of which Bryce got baptized), had served missions themselves, were writing Bryce to tell him thank you. He said that because of what he had done, generations would be affected. I just instantly thought of what an amazing husband I have! I'm so grateful for the selfless service he did for 2 years of his life and for the lives that he changed and for the man that he became in the process. I'm so grateful to have Bryce as a best friend/partner/husband for eternity.
On another note, yesterday I was a little disappointed as I took ANOTHER pregnancy test that came back a big fat neg-a-tory. I was reminded of a couple years ago when I had done the same thing. I had taken the test and waited the long awaited 2 min and got a plus sign. I thought, hmmm, maybe I did it wrong. I read the box and low and behold, yup, your only supposed to put it in the urine stream for 5 seconds. Any longer, and you could get a miss reading. So I did it again. Plus sign. Read the instructions again. I'm sure I did something wrong. I did. So I took it, yes a third time. Plus sign!!! I can remember walking into Bryce's office with all 3 sticks that had plus signs, crying and saying, we finally did it. My point to this story, is although we are having another hard time getting pregnant. I have a pretty great blessing named Audrey. I'm so thankful to a gracious Father in Heaven that blessed me with that spunky, beautiful, smart, funny, brave, tender heart of a child. I'm one lucky momma!
This year we spent Thanksgiving with the Stevenson's. The girls all got together to have a pie crust cooking lesson from Debbie. It was fun, educating and they turned out delicious as was the rest of our beautiful dinner. I have so much to be thankful for, family, health, gospel, jobs, and love just to name a few.
Happy Thanksgiving

2012- family pics

Here are some of my favorite pictures that we just had taken........

bubbles anyone??

My kid loves her a bubble bath, she's just like her mommy. I'm definitely more refined because I would never choose Hello Kitty bubbles:)  I may have gone just a little over board with the bubbly though. What do you think?? Gosh she is sure cute!

Stevenson Halloween Carnival-2012

This years Stevenson Halloween carnival was much more enjoyable because Audrey was a little older. She didn't quite get it all, but she still had fun. It's always fun watching your kid try and do new things. She caught her very own (rubber) ducky out of a pond. She shot hoops with her dad. She threw a ring around a witches hat. Popped balloons with a dart. Had story time and got to play musical chairs/without the chairs very ironically:) Debbie and Daren always put on a good show and this year was no exception! We love you mom and dad Stevenson. Thanks for the family fun and all you do for us!

I love Audrey crying in this pic......

Then literally 2 sec. later, totally happy......

 Fishin with daddy

This is on Halloween night, riding through the hood in style

Going to Nursery

My baby girl has officially gone to nursery! She didn't notice I left nor would she have cared if she did know. I wouldn't want it any other way. She walked in and started playing with toys like she owned the place! My friend who is in nursery snapped this photo of Audrey during snack time, she is such a cutie and I seriously can't believe she is that old already.

Nursery

I know this post is happening about 18 months to late. Audrey is now 17 months and most people get a nursery done about a month or so before there baby is born.....not me. If I have a vision in my head, it takes time people, and this was no exception!! I have everything done now just in time for her to jump into a big girl bed and for me to redo the entire thing ahhhhh! If only I had endless funds, that would sure help. So in celebration of finishing everything a couple weeks ago, I thought I would post some pictures of all mine and my mothers hard work. Woohoo!

Disneyland-2012

The Stevensons gave us a trip to Disneyland this past Christmas. We went 9/3-9/7/12 and it was a blast. It was a little warmer than I expected but I survived. Audrey was just a hair short for a lot of the rides. She is 33" and a lot of them were 35". The rides Miss Audrey did make it on, not one tear was shed, she was a trooper. I think her favorites were "Dumbo", "Ariel the Mermaid", and "It's a Small World". Our last night we caught "The World of Color" at California Adventures and that she loved. She clapped and clapped while screaming and saying "wow"!

(airplane ride)
I was so worried that the airplane flight was going to be h#!!. Having a child that can't sit still and all for 2 seconds, but it went so well. She was so enthralled with the take off and looking out the window while in flight. I could not have asked for a better behaved child during our vacation. It's so hard for kids (and parents) when they get off schedule, but she adapted so well. Thank you mom and dad Stevenson for the great vacation, it was so much fun to have Audrey finally see the "real" Mickey Mouse since that is who she watches 5x's a day!

    Here is Audrey playing with daddy in the hotel room, when she should be asleep. I lOVE that giggle!